Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
