Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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