You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
