wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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