so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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