I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
