She is in my trunk
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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