It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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