let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
