??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
