Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
