i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
