Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
