Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
