He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
