Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
