You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
