just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
