I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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