I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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