I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
