the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
