I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
