I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
