i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
