ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize