someone get that fucking seahorse.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
