drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
