Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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