My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
