You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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