you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
