At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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