oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
