i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
