You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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