fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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