Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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