im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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