I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I enjoy the company of your penis
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
