i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
