So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize