I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
