You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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