Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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