He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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