I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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