I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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