i just identified you from a description of your pipe
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
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