you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He passed out mid-signature
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
