And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
