On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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