He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize
