just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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