worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
