I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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