You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
