Nicole vs. Life
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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