I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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