So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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