My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
