I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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