So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
