What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
