Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
