6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
