I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
