Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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